


The Sun's Flower

by Seongjoong123



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alpha Kim Hongjoong, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Anxiety, Beta Choi Jongho, Beta Choi San, Beta Jeong Yunho, Beta Kang Yeosang, Beta Song Mingi, Foreplay, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Imprinting, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Loneliness, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Park Seonghwa, Pack Dynamics, Pain, Park Seonghwa-centric, References to Knotting, School, Shy Park Seonghwa, Smut, Soulmates, Violence, beta jung wooyoung, first heat, presenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:48:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23185771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seongjoong123/pseuds/Seongjoong123
Summary: A world where Beta’s make up 99,5% of the world’s population.The other 0,5%?Alpha’s. they are very rare, and worshipped by everyoneAnd omega’s? they haven’t been seen for over 300 years. Leaving everyone to think that they are extinct.Meet Park Seonghwa, a beta who is trying to survive in this harsh world all alone.What happens when he and his idol, alpha ’Kim Hongjoong’ meet?
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 16
Kudos: 116





	1. Who are you?

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning: this story contains angst, sexual assault, violence, abuse, problems with mental health, selfharm, smut.
> 
> This story has some heavy subjects. - please. If these things trigger you. Don't read it.
> 
> Notes: most of the time seonghwa's pov but further in the story also Hongjoong's.  
> Seonghwa is not a part of ateez in this fanfic :'))  
> He goes to school. But let's just say that the ages are the same as in real life.(to lazy to make up the ages).
> 
> I love writing. It helps me de-stress, Thats why I decided to try and write a story in another language (english).  
> Let's see how it goes.  
> (See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

_And today as special guest we have a rooky group named Ateez._  
_Welcome, please introduce yourselves._  
_Two-one..Seven makes one team, hello this is Ateez !_

He was alone, sitting on the ground in fetal position, in the corner of his dark room. Not knowing nor caring how much time had passed.  
He rocked his body back and forth, totally sucked up into his own world..  
He just wanted to break the silence. The unbearable, sufficationg silence… leaving him to deal with his own thoughts. If he could even call them his own.  
He was scared.. because 'it' could always hear him, no matter the place or time. He couldn't hide from it. He could no longer ignore it. The other presence he was sharing this body with.  
It had been with him for a very long time, maby even since the very beginning? He did not know. But wat he did know was that it all started when he was around four years old. At first it was barely noticeable. The sound of something whispering from a distance. But as weeks passed the voice became more promident. The once soft whispers became words, words became whole sentences. At times he would just look around, and call out to the voice. However It never answered.

  
Until one day... it did. The memory of that day is still so clear.  
The day ‘It’ started talking to him.

_*sound of sobbing*_

_“please, little pup, don’t cry”_.

Seonghwa looked up. But there was no one.  
Hiccup …

"H-hellowwh"? He asked scared, he stood and walked around the living room. In hope to find the source of the sound.

  
"Where a-are you"?

  
_“ I’m not visible”._

_"but I'm here"._

  
His eyes widened, he didn’t expect an answer. He had called out to it many times before, but with no avail.

  
"What are you? A ghost"?

  
Seonghwa was very confused. His four year old brain couldn’t understand what was happening.

  
“ _Don’t be scared, you have nothing to fear”._

_“ I’m really friendly”._

  
"You are?"

"Daddy always says that talking to strangers is bad. He will get mad at me if I talk to you".

_“ I’m not a stranger, I am a part of you"._

_" Daddy isn’t here right?”._

  
He nodded.

"Daddy went outside"."I am alone."

"He left me again."

  
“ _You are not alone” “ I’m here”._

_“Would you like to play with me?”_

  
"Play?? Why"?

  
_“ Because I want to be your friend”._

  
"I reawlyy want a friend, but what if daddy will get angry at me again"?

  
_“Don’t worry, everything will be all right”._

_“ When time comes, I'll protect you”._

  
"Wrreally? you promise?"

  
_“ Promise”._

  
"You will be my bestest fwiend!! Don’t ever leave me okey"?

  
_“ Never”._  
  
\---

  
“ I’m really worried about him, he has been talking to himself for days now”.  
“ He isn’t associating with the other kids in class either”.

" Its not that they exclude him, it’s the other way around.. he excludes himself from the others”.

“I understand the situation”.

The man looked at the boy besides him.

However Seonghwa wasn’t paying any attention as he saw a butterfly flying past him.

"Woahh that’s a wreally pretty butterfly don’t you think"?

"Yes I think so as well"!

"We have seen five butterflies today already." He held up his hand showing five fingers. 

"me? I liked the yellow one the best"!

He grinned to himself.

The teacher and the man watched in shock as Seonghwa was holding a whole conversation 'by himself’.

“You see”!? the teacher said as she looked at Seonghwa and back to his father, worry written on her face.

  
The man frowned,

“ this is indeed a problem”...

He gave the woman a calm, gentle smile.

" You don't have to worry miss, I'll take care of this".

  
“ Seonghwa.. buddy come here will ya”?  
Seonghwa turned around and returned to his dad’s side still smiling. However it soon disappeared as he met the mans eyes.

Seonghwa knew those eyes all to well.

\---

Seonhwa was trembling as the door behind him slammed shut.

D-da. *Slap*! Before he could even utter a word a hand had made contact with Seonghwa’s skin, making his head whip to the right.

  
“who are you to ridicule me”?.

“what would the teacher think of me now huh"?

“why the fuck do you keep talking to yourself” !!?  
  
  
"D-daddy" he stammered with tears in his eyes. Not able to get the words out right.

  
"I-I was t-talking to my fr-friend" he stuttered.

  
The man scoffed. "friend"? " YOUR FRIEND"!? Seonghwa just stood there in shock. To afraid to say anything at this point.  
  
The man took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down. But he couldn't, he was angry. No...  
He was furious..

"This has to stop.. yes.. There is no other way". 

“clothes off, now”!

  
The boys eyes went wide, Huh?

  
“You heard me”! 

  
He shook his head, as he took a defensive stance. "N-no"!!

  
Seonghwa's father had lost all patience as he took a strong hold of Seonghwa's arm..who was struggling to get free from the bruising grip. However the man wasn’t showing any sympathy as pulled the clothes from the small shivering boy.  
  
"Daddy!! No.. Stwop! I’ll be good! I’ll be a good boy"..

He tried to hold back his tears. He really did. But once the first one fell the rest followed in a unbroken stream.

  
“turn around”

  
Sobbing, Seonghwa did as he was told..he turned around with trembling legs, his back now facing his father.  
Hiccup. "Seonghwa's sowwy"

…“You brought this upon yourself” His father said angrily as he took off his leather belt..The man ran his fingers slowly along the smooth edge of the lit, the buckle end rattled as he did.

  
Without warning the belt landed across his bare skin with full force. The boy screamed as searing pain and ripping sensations was felt.. as the flesh was nearly being torn appart from the impact. Before he could even recover from the first hit it came down a second time, striking sharp slashes with a cold bruning sensation. He fell to the ground as his legs gave out under him, instantly curling into a bawl in attempt to protect himself.. 

“ Friend” ? “ how stupid”.

Each strike send his small frame jutting forward as he braced his mind for the next hit. While beggin the man to stop...  
His whole body was flooded with crippeling fear...He couldn't move. Everything was out of his control, even his own body.  


"Did you just fucking wet yourself"?!!..  
"You are not worthy of being my son"... 

He couldn't hear the mans voice or make out the words that where being said. He was on the verge of passing out but his father wasn't close to done yet, taking out all his anger on the boy.  
He did not know how many lashed he took...  
But 'it' talked to him, through every hit. Trying to distract the young boy that was in excruciating pain.

After god knows how long, it finally stopped.

"where is your friend now, huh"?  
...  
" If I ever catch you talking to yourself again. you know what’s in store for you”...

" Fucking retard".

After that the man left, leaving the badly injured boy to pick himself up.. He didn't know how bad it was, but he knew he was bleeding. the flesh on his back...torn, just as his soul...  
Seonghwa learned a few things that day.

His 'friend' had lied. It didn't protect him like said it would. He was alone.. and had to deal with everyting.. alone. And it was al 'it's' fault. 

  
He didn’t want to talk to it anymore...

And so, he made sure he didn’t. He surpressed it, ignored it's whole existence, for years.  
It worked…it was still there, but did not bother the boy anymore until.. recently.

  
\---

He was lonely, and scared...It felt like he was drowning. Everything was out of his control. He was panicking. Breathing was getting more difficult every second that passed. His trembling hands grabbed the fabric of his shirt tightly. Tears where rolling down his cheeks

His whole body...hurted so badly. He chocked back a sob.

  
“Seonghwa” the voice in his head whispered.

  
“No.. not this again"... 

  
“I’m a part of you…I am you, don’t reject me”…

His hands flew to his head, pressing on his ears. Not that it would help anything.

  
Seonghwa was on the verge of going insane.  
Ohno.. no, no, no.. go away.. please just leave me..

"It will only hurt more if you resist".

"LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE"!

Through the pain he did what he always did. Count.  
"O-one, two, three, fo-four", inhale....Exhale...."one, two, th-three".. his heart was beating fast, his insides felth like they where being ripped apart.

  
He kept on counting like a mantra, trying to keeping himself sane through the whole ordeal. Slowly seconds turn into minutes. And after a while he managed to calm himself somewhat down.  
It felt like an eternity but in reality only about 30 minutes had passed.

  


The fierce pain he experienced, went away as fast as it came. However his body was still aching a bit.  
He felt relieved, but weird. As if something had chanced...

The voice ? Was gone... for now at least.

  
"What just happened"?.

  
He ran his hands over his body, as if searching for something. Injuries? no.. He didnt know.  
He was freaking out...

"Am I possessed? Did 'it' try to take over"?

  
He shook his head.. He didnt believe in those things.

Something clicked. "A panic attack"? Yes, that could have been it, right?

  
Never had it hurt like this before, but how else could he expain something like this?  
Still confused he reached for the remote control with shaky hands...

He just wanted something to distract him..anything. Or the boy feared he would have to go through another one of those 'panic attacks' again.

Still in fetal position he sat there, rocking his body back and forth slowly, as sound the tv was producing filled the room.

Seonghwa just stared, eyes focussed on the moving blobs of colors that made out to be tv. wat exactly was on it, he couldn't tell nor did he care. The world around him had dissapeared, leaving him in a void of just muffled noises and darkness. Suddenly a voice reached to him, making the darkness around him slownly dissipate.

  
_"Hello, I'm Kim Hongjoong and I'm the leader and pack alpha of Ateez." "Thank you for inviting us."_

  
'Alpha'...

Startled he looked up.. everything around him, familiar again. 

"Kim Hongjoong"? His puffy still teary eyes sparked with interest as he watched the male that had appeared on the screen.  
Heart skipped a beat as he took in the rappers appearance. He curiously got a bit closer to the tv, trying to get a better look at the man.

In spite of the large aura with which he carried himself, the alpha was actually petite overall. Well-built with surprisingly defined musculature.  
Dark brown eyes and long eyelashes. Though undeniably masculine his face has a softness to it.

  
"Him, a pack alpha"? He was surprised. He didn't really look like one.

  
At least not in Seonghwa's eyes.  
He took a quick glance at the other members. Instantly coming to a conclusion that Song Mingi and Choi San gave off more ' alpha vibes' Than Hongjoong. Despite both of them being beta's.

However there was something about the alpha that sparked Seonghwa's interest. Not just because he was an 'alpha'. The man looked calm and collected.. Gentle, Maybe even cute?(appearance wise).

  
He frowned, and shook his head. Hongjoong didn’t look scary... unlike the other 'few' alpha's he had seen on tv. Judging people on their appearance was something his brain did automatically, instantly deciding if the other person might be a threat to him. ‘who to avoid and who don't ’.  


But he couldn't describe what he felt as he looked at Hongjoong.

  
The interview went on for a little while longer.  
Ateez seem like a nice bunch. Hongjoong answered most the questions happily. He's good talker Seonghwa noticed. Really polite and a very soothing voice. It calmed him down..  
  
The interviewer introduced a game for them to play. They were all having fun, until two of the members where fighting over who won the game. To seonghwa's surprise Hongjoong was visibly annoyed. It was barely noticeable and only for a few seconds but the alpha wasn't all that cute and bubbly anymore.

  
His whole demeanor had changed, as if something within the alpha had instantly switched. A glance was all it took for the members to stop with what they were doing and look the leaders way.

Seonghwa tensed up. Even though he watched it on tv he could just feel the dominance radiating from the other. Subconscious wanting to cower and.. bare his neck.?

After a few seconds of silent eye contact, as if agreeing with each other they all relaxed again. Carrying on as if nothing happened. Even Seonghwa relaxed, surprised when he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding through the whole ordeal.  
  
He was wrong about Hongjoong? He looks like the kind who steps in when needed, telling off the misbehaving members without even having to say a word or having to use violence. He shook his head, still confused as to why this had affected him as much as it did.  
How was he able to grab everyone’s ( even his) attention without saying anything though? He didn’t get it…

  
Now did he have to say that he didn't know anything about Alpha's at all. They made up about 0,5% of the world population, with the rest all being beta's, including himself. So..maybe it was some kind of an alpha thing?

.. He had no clue.

If he wasn't always late for his classes, he had known more about alpha's. But he didnt particulairly care really. Why would he even have to know?

He's a beta. Not an alpha.

  
Before seonghwa even had time to ponder about it further, the boys were all back at making jokes again.

A smile made its way across seonghwa's face. This group sure was something else, Kinda chaotic, dorky and loud but Seonghwa really liked it. They were interesting, thats for sure. He could easily tell by the way the members interacted with each other that they where close. He secretly envied that.  
  
After the interview came to an end they performed their debut song, Pirate king. The song was catchy. They all sung/rapped and danced really well.

As for Seonghwa, he was mostly focused on one particular member. Not that the other membes werent interesting to watch. But he couldnt help it. He was mesmerised by every move the man made, every word he spoke. Seonghwa couldn't take his eyes off him, affraid he might miss something if he wasn't paying full attention. There was just something about Hongjoong. He had this kind of unexplainable pull on him. 

To his disappointment the song was over before he knew it.  
His lips formed into a small pout...he really wanted to see/hear more.

They shortly promoted their album and upcoming fan sign before they said their goodbyes. Waving at the camera one last time before disappearing backstage.

They were gone.

He sat there, still staring at the tv. Not yet fully comprehending what had happened.  
  
After a while he looked at his alarm clock shocked to see that is was already 1:24 am. He was drained and had school tomorrow. Deciding it was time to go to bed he turned the tv off and quickly crawled under the sheets.

“Kim Hongjoong”.

  
His lips formed into a shy smile, embarrassed at how much he liked the name.  
Saying the name a few more times until he was content he closed his eyes. His mind was clear and.. calm, all worries forgotten for once. 

One thought crossed Seonghwa's mind before falling asleep. 

Hongjoong..felt safe. 

-  
Monday, 8:39 AM

  
“Shit”

he was late for school…again.  
He quickly got up, regretting it straight away as his body protested...fuck..he was still aching all over.

But he had to go to school.

  
He knew for a fact that the teacher was gonna nag to him about being late. But there was nothing to do about it now. The most important thing was for him to get dressed, pack his bag and get out of the house safely.  
He glanced at himself in the mirror. Not to happy when he saw his own reflection.

His skin looked ghostly white…of course it was. His body was a collection of scars and bruises. From the dark purple-ish bruises to older light-yellow ones that where almost faded. scars that have been there for years and those he got from a few days ago, still very visible. He always managed to covered them up really well, so most parts of his skin had never seen the sunlight before.  
Even his face was pale, he had bags under his eyes from the constant lack of sleep. And It didn’t really help that he was skinny, to skinny for a 21 year old guy.

He knew that he was severely underweight. It was the result his poor diet. But it wasn’t like it was his choice. He didn’t want to look like, well 'this'.  
The salary he got from the part time job at the restaurant he worked just wasn’t enough to cover a whole month worth of food. So these days he often just went without. Waiting until he got his next pay. Over the course of the years this took a heavy toll on his body.

  
Over all he looked just sick. He didn’t feel that great either most of the time, especially today. But he kinda grew used it over time.

At least he's still here.  
  
No longer wanting to look at his body, he quickly got dressed in his school uniform. Every scar and bruise told their own story...And Seonghwa didn't want to be reminded of those. Because the emotional scars are just as deep as the ones he had on his body.

  
Silently he gathered the rest of his things before going to the door, stopping when his hand grabbed the handle. Listenening at the surroundings he felt somewhat relieved as soft snores were heard from the room next to his.

  
“sigh.. oke..its okey”.

  
He took a few deep breaths, summoning up some kind of courage before pushing the door open, cursing inwardly when it made a creaking sound. It was not that hard but surely hard enough to wake someone. But It didnt, he was lucky today.

  
He went down the stairs and got out of the house as fast as he could.  
Once outside fresh air filled his lungs, he felt like he could finally breath again.


	2. Class

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter I got sum information about Alpha's / Beta's / Omega's. Bc in my ff some things are different.  
> The teacher still thinks omega's exist. That's why he doesn't use past tense. The students however think they are extinct so they do..  
> If there are any quetions about this. Feel free to ask in the comments.  
> I tried from the teachers pov for a little bit. ( see if it works or not). +  
> And got sum students from other groups :))

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry in advance. I like to make things complicated. ^-^

Omega's usually present from the age of 15-18 with their first shift. (like alpha's).

After that their heat usually start to kick in within a few hours.

Most of time it lasts around 4-5 days.

For late presenters. (alpha's or omega's) it's a bit harder. This is because at the age of 18 a persons body is already fully developed..meaning it has to work alot harder to shift into it's wolf form.

The whole process of shifting doesn't take that long but is extra painfull for the person going through it.

After that they are considered 'half-presented'. Because they haven't had their first heat/rut yet.

Their body often pospones this for a few weeks because of the extra stress it had to endure from the first shift.

Shifting takes up alot of effort and drains someone's energy completely.

When their first heat/rut hits it's more intense and last longer as well.

This heat could be potentially dangerous for omega's. So they need to be either be monitored in the hospital or have a partner to help them through it.

"So in short, if you are late bloomer it totally suckes".

"Yes. But it is kinda their own faulth".

"If the person doesn't accept/rejects their wolf, it can be that the person doesn't presents at the 'right time' or at all".

"Why wouldn't you accept it? It's a part of you.. And shifting sounds so cool". " To be an 'real' wolf..unlike us".

"Hmmn... Good question, I bet they have their reasons". "But okey class...next up we have scents and mates"

After someone pesents their scent glands starts to produce pheromones, which will reveal itself in the form of a scent.  
( Note: Half-presented give off pheromones as well.)

Alpha's often have strong powerful scents. Woodsy, herbal, bonfires.  
Us beta's have neutral scents.  
and Omega's sweet scents like fruit/flowers.

Beta's are able to notice these scents, but our noses aren't as good as alpha's and omega's who both have an increased sense of smell. So they can detect other's their pheromones/scents more easily.

The closer an omega or alpha is to their heat/rut. The stronger the scent.

Why you ask? To attract a partner or possible mate.

As for beta's..

"Mr. Kim"? The teacher turned his head to see that as student was holding his hand up eagerly.

" Yes, Beomgyu, you have a question"?

" How 'did' they choose their partner?"

"They actually don't really choose their partners themselves". "Their wolves do".

The boys eyes widened..

"Waw really?..How"?

" First impression, appearance and attraction to each other’s scent plays an imortant part for the human part as wolf part ofcourse".

But the key to finding a good partner... The teacher pointed his finger to his eye. Are 'these'.

"Ever heard of the saying, the eyes are the window to the soul"?

The whole class nodded.

As everyone knows. We can detect each others feelings through scents. Someones scent becomes more bitter when having negative emotions or gets lighter and richer when having positive happy emotions.

We know how the other person feels without them having to speak up.

For the eyes, its kinda similar actually.

When we meet someone for the first time, our eyes can convey a wide range of feelings: trust or distrust, security, contentment, fear, etc.

It’s as if we are capable of transcending our bodily limits and reaching their soul through their eyes. See their emotions...

However for alpha's and omega's it's on a whole different level.

When they met each other’s eyes for the first time, not only can they see what we can see, but the wolves within both of them can also see each other. 'Meet each other'.

In this first meeting, their wolves decide if the other party could be a possible mate or not.

"So what you are telling us, is that they looked at the others soul/wolf and kinda imprinted or rejected each other"?

The teacher smiled at the boy.

"Something like that Taehyun..But they won't just reject an other wolf for no reason".

“How about fated mates”?

Hmn.. “To meet their fated mates huh..”He put his hand on his chin, thinking.

  
”That happens rarely”.

  
For two wolves to be fated mates, they really need to have this strong instant connection between both of them. or say "compatibility between the souls".

He looked around the classroom to see alot of confused faces.

“Okey, let me explain”.

every person is attracted towards that which is compatible with him. This compatibility is of two types:

  
1) original compatibility which is ingrained in the essence

2) that which comes later because of living together or having something in common.

  
If your aims match his aims, there will be harmony between your soul and his, but if the aims are different, then harmony will no longer exist.

As for original compatibility, it is a kind of similarity in attitude and similarity of souls. Each soul longs for other souls that are similar to it, because what is similar to something is naturally attracted to it, so the two souls may be similar in original creation, thus there will be a natural attraction to one another.

  
So wolves are looking for a 'similar' mate. Wanting both them and the human souls to be compatible with each other…And that is very rare to find.

"how did they know if they found their fated mate"?

"Oohh they can feel it allright".

.. I also wanted to say that we all want this compatibility. To find the ‘perfect mate’. alpha's beta's and omega's alike.

Only the alpha’s and omega’s are the ones who can actively search for theirs, as their wolf calls out to them. Helps them.

"But... it's really sad right now”.

“Why is that so sad tho”? We beta's can’t even find our ‘fated mate’ even if we even have one”.

“S.Coups Are you stupid or what?

"Huh"?

“With 99,5% of us being beta’s and the other 0,5% being alpha’s there is no way the alpha’s can search for their ‘fated mate". "There is none". "Which means they will forever be alone".

S.Coups looked at Woozy, face gone red as he shrugged.

“How would I know that”?

“Really? Isn’t that kinda obvious”?

Namjoon nodded. “Woozy. My compliments, you took the words out if my mouth”.

"However I think there are still omega's in this world". "as there are still alpha's". "Maybe we're just not looking hard enough"...

"I hope thats the case at least".

He truned to S.Coups "what you said made sense”.

We as beta’s are compatible with alot of people, unlike alpha’s and omega’s.

Our wolves are present in our subconscious, even if they don't call out to us. Some of us can feel theirs when we have really strong emotions. Like anger, sadness or in this case love. Our emotions can be so much more intense if our wolf agrees with us, or less if it disagrees.

But cause their presence and will isn’t that strong, our wolves aren't able to search for their 'mate'. If we even have one that is.

A beta wolf can’t reject another wolf. If we fall in love with an person and decide to mate with him/her out of love, both wolves will also see each other as their mates. And will love each other as if they are 'fated mates'.

Alpha’s and omega's can still mate with another wolf as well( alpha with another alpha or beta or omega / omega with another alpha or beta).

If the parties mate it means their wolves can tolerate one another, but not fall in love or see it as it's true mate.

Even when mated, 'their' wolf will never stop searching for ‘It’s true mate’. Meaning the person can't love someone 'who isn't their true/fated mate' with their whole heart" That's the difference...

"Teach! So.. the reason we can't hear them, shift or have fated mates is because our wolf isn’t strong enough right”?

“That’s right...I just don't think us beta's really have fated mates to begin with”.

" Aahhh..But I really want one.. A fated mate"! The boy turned to the one sitting beside him.

"Ey Soobin, look in my eyes will ya??

  
"W-what"? He gaped at the other.. Maby we're fated to be together, who knows? *whiggels his eyebrows*.

  
The whole class erupted into laughter.

  
" Yah, stop it Kai". Soobin pushed Heuningkai away shyly.

" Awhh you don't have to be so shy, I know for sure we are compatible”.  
"I can feel it".

Soobin who was to embarrassed by the whole ordeal decided to turn away from Heuningkai. He didn't know how to react.

"Oof, he got rejected"!!! Yeonjun shouted through the class.

* Wispering* "Even if a wolf can't reject.. the person himself still can".

Heuningkai laughed awkwardly as he bumped Soobin's shoulder with his. "I was just kidding Bin"..

Ofcourse he was just joking with him..Soobin pouted sadly.

Felix rolled his eyes.."We all know you like each other, so stop flirting for once, will ya?"...

*Whispering* " It’s obvious Felix is just jealous because they openly flirt".

Snickers.." I bet he really wants to look into Changbin's eyes as well". "To check".  
"Nah he’s too shy to ask".

"Awhh..A shy baby..How does Changbin not notice the way felix looks at him"?  
"We can all see it in his 'eyes' tho. "I can even sense it u know".  
"what"?  
"The burning passion of... LOVE"!!  
"Omg stop it! I’m wheezing"

Felix stood up abruptly and turned around to look at the guys behind him. "YAH! Stop that"!.

"Stop what"? Bambam asked with a sly smile.

Felix looked annoyed at Bambam, and then at Yugyeom who reacted by shooting his hands in the air while squeezing his eyes shut.

" Don't go and look ME in the eyes man, I don't want to be your mate".

He clenched his fists. "Seriously, Fucking. Stop"...

“ Ey Changbin!! Calm your mans, will ya”?

What? Changbin looked at the boys an then back at Felix confused.

"We got ur back man". Bambam whispered while giving him a thumbs up.

" God damn it you guys"!!!

Felix was so ready to punch someone at that moment... But the teacher had had enough of it and stepped in. He clapped in his hands, Signalling his students to quiet down.

The teacher shook his head, amused.

"Okey that's enough everyone".  
"Felix sit down" " I don't want any fights in my classroom".

Felix sighed...and sat down again, but not before glaring at the guys one more time.  
Who in response just smirked.

" Okey kids, I just wanted everyone to know that you are all important and special".  
"And I'm a hunderd pecent positive you will all find a mate someday".

…

"All do I think that some of you may have set their eyes on someone already"...

And it was noisy again...

Seonghwa knocked on the classroom door softly. When he got a 'come in' as response he took a deep breath in before entering. The moment he did the laughter instantly died down, all eyes where now focussed on him.

“Well, Well look who decided to show up for class”.

“You are late, again.”

Namjoon wasn’t the kind of teacher that punished his students. But he was getting irritated with this ones attitude.

It had been 2 months into this school year and this kid rarely came on time.  
He always has this ‘I don’t give a fuck look’ on his face, never talks only when spoken to or asked to speak up/answer a questions. His grades...so-so, and doesn't pay any attention to class at all.

Seonghwa bowed to the teacher. "I'm sorry mr. Kim". And just stood there. Staring at the ground as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“And what’s your reason for being late today”?

Seonghwa swallowed,“ I-I overslept”. Hoping that was enough information for the teacher.

'Overslept'? Namjoon raised his eyebrow as he took in the boys appearance. The kid looked like he hadn't slept at all actually. Did he pull an all nighter playing video games or something?.

He noted that he had to keep an eye on this one. If he even came to classes that is. He sighed in defeat, the kid was lucky he wasn't a strict teacher...

“Oke, I will overlook it one last time. But make sure you're on time next time alright”?

Seonghwa nodded.  
“You may sit down now”.

He didnt need to be told a second time as he quickly went to his seat which was located in the back.

As Seonghwa lowered down into his chair he could feel his classmates glaring at him.

*Wispering* “Why even come when he’s always late”.?

"I know right, this class literally finishes in two minutes or so".

"Okeyy, this class is over".  
"The next time I'm gonna teach you guys more about scenting, mating and pack dynamics".

"For now thats all".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update regularly, but I'm struggling a little bit...Like how do I describe something?. English is not my first language. So I have to search up alot of stuff...And think about how I want to put something down. Because I'm actually really bad at expressing feelings haha..


	3. Just a fanboy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm sorry for not updating in a while. I was so bussy with my study. However I'm almost done :D So more time to write. As always, thank you for reading my story. If you have any questions or tips let me know in the comments.

1,5 weeks had passed. And Seonghwa had noticed something.  
Ever since that night...'it' was quiet.  
No talking no whispering. Nothing.  
But...he didn't feel relieved. The opposite to be exact. He was anxious. Because he knew that sooner or later 'it' would start bothering him again.

And he had this gut the feeling. That things would get much worse than last time.

However, he didn't try to think about it too much.

And that wasn't really hard, because over the course of the days Seonghwa had been kind of preoccupied. With ateez.

He had spent hours searching up information, listening their music, watching live stages/interviews etc. He even made a twitter account especially so he could follow Ateez.

To his surprise the group had many fans despite being a rookie group.

A lot of them commented on their posts, photos and videos. Some even made edits of their idols or wrote something to them.

He could just endlessly scroll through the comment sections. Reading discussions about the members or their performances. Not to forget that the inside jokes and memes never failed to make him laugh.

One-night Hongjoong tweeted a picture with a caption ‘good night Atiny’.

That night after a lot of hesitating Seonghwa decided to comment on it. He didn’t write much, just that he was happy and thankful that Hongjoong took the time to wish everyone a good night. And that he wished everyone a good night rest as well.

It was only one comment between thousands of others, so the idol probably wouldn’t even see it, but he just wanted to let Hongjoong know he appreciated him.

He placed his phone down on the night stand next to his bed, and closed his eyes. Not even a minute later the phone’s screen lightened up. Telling him he got a message. Confused he picked it up again. When he opened twitter, he was shocked to see that people where replying to him. Liking his comment, and wishing him a good night.

He didn’t expect that to happen. At all.  
The fact that they would even reply to a total stranger shocked him.

Some people had noticed his comment. Had noticed him? This was new. For the first time in a long time he didn’t feel. invisible.

Since then he commented on pictures more frequently and even posted some things himself (poems mostly). He even interacted with some other fans.

One day someone asked him who his bias was. Being a total newbie to kpop he didn’t even know that the word ‘bias’ existed, or what it meant. Luckily the fan was kind enough to explain to him.  
In the end Seonghwa learned that Hongjoong was his bias, and it was completely normal to have one.

However, he noticed something. Most of the fans biased Hongjoong.

And... It bothered him…a lot.

Not that he was jealous. No..not at all. But he didn’t like the reason why most of them biased him.

‘Because of his status’.

They were obsessed with the fact that 'he' was an 'alpha'.

most comments on his pictures or video’s all had one thing in common.

The word. Alpha. It was kind of disturbing to Seonghwa. Why not use his name? He has one for a reason.  
Why was everyone so focussed on the man’s status? Didn't they like the idol for who he was?  
No maybe all they wanted to see was an alpha... Not hongjoong.

It irritated him. It made him think. Reflect on himself.

Did he feel so drawn to hongjoong just because he was an alpha?  
He had been alive for 21 years and no one ever caught his eye before. No alpha nor beta.

Hongjoong...was different. Seonghwa didn’t care less about someone’s status. What made being an alpha so special anyway? Being a stronger and more dominant didn’t make someone better than anyone else, Right?

He didn’t know why people would think otherwise.

But it was a fact that a lot of people 'worship' alphas. 

How does Hongjoong feel about this? Sad, confused? or maybe...happy.?

He likes Hongjoong, for his personality. at least he thinks so...but how could he know for sure...?  
He only knows the ‘idol’ side of Hongjoong.  
Was it even his own personality? Or maybe it was all fake, fabricated.  
An act to please the public  
Maybe behind that mask there is a whole other person. And when the cameras are gone, he shows himself… his true personality.

Just like his father.  
Or like him…Seonghwa was no better. He was hiding his true self as well.

Through the years he learned how to lock his emotions away. No one could see or sense them.

However, he didn't build strong walls to keep others out. It was done out of a necessity, to protect whatever was left within him.  
'For his own protection'

But because of these walls, no one could ever get close, and see... The 'real' Seonghwa.

The walls held strong, yet deep down he secretly hoped that they were weak enough for the right person to break them down.  
one day...perhaps.

Was Hongjoong the same?  
He wanted to see Hongjoong’s 'real' personality. He was curious about him and the other members of Ateez.

Who were they?

He knew that he was probably thinking way to hard about everything. And that it didn’t even matter in the end.  
Even though he knew who they were, they didn’t know about his existence.  
He was just some 21 y/o guy crushing on an idol.  
He knew that in the end he had his life and they had theirs.

Even if they are the first people, he was kind off interested in. They would never cross paths... He would never be a part of their life. After all, they lived in two different worlds.

And he was perfectly content with being a fan. Supporting them from the side lines. Even if he didn’t actually know them, he knew one thing at least... They made his days a bit better.  
And because of that he was thankful.  
\---

The hallway was filled with students who had just finished their classes.

The smell of sandwiches, pizza and other delicious food slowly filled seonghwa's nostrils as he walked towards the canteen. But he was suddenly halted by a sharp pain in his midsection, his hand hadn't made it to his abdomen when a loud, deep growl echoed from within his stomach and, blushing deeply, he recognized the dull ache as hunger.

People hasty walked past the boy who just stood there for a while, hesitating if he should enter the canteen.

He couldn't afford anything and knew he would only make it harder for himself being surrounded by food.  
But, where else would he go? He wanted to sit down somewhere.  
He had a 25-minute break, and already wasted 4 of them standing around.

Two more days, he muttered to himself, as he walked towards an empty table located in the corner near the window.

He glanced around as he walked past the other tables. Seeing other students happily chatting with one another while eating. Some of them standing in line waiting for their food, while others (who started their break earlier) had finished theirs.

Seeing people throwing away their leftovers afterwards always made seonghwa a bit upset.  
They were literally throwing precious food away. Food that they could have saved, to eat later that day.

He couldn't wrap his head around it. He would never have wasted that food.

Even so often he would catch the praises ‘I’m so hungry’ or ‘starved to death’ from his classmates.  
He would just stare at them with a blank face and think. ‘You have no idea’.

Of course, they wanted something to eat. He got it, and its normal. But they had never felt ‘real’ hunger before. Never really ‘starved’ for days.  
What would they know?

however, he couldn’t blame them. Food wasn’t something they had to worry about, because it’s always available and affordable for them.

He sighed as he sat down the chair. He took some large gulps from his water bottle, hoping it would fill his stomach somewhat. But he knew that it only meant an extra trip to the bathroom later on. But on the positive side, at least he stayed hydrated.

He had to wait for two more days before he would get his pay check.  
Meaning he’d gone without food for four days in total.

He was used to it. All though he didn’t really like the feeling of constant hunger, having no energy and being cold all the time. 

But. At the end of the month he would be rewarded with his long awaited pay check. He promised himself that every time that day arrived, he would eat until he was completely full. Just the thought of that made him happy.

Unexpectedly he felt a comforting warmth on his back, noticing it where the sunrays his body instantly relaxed.

He took out his note book and pen. He always loved writing. It was like a historical record of his own thoughts. Like a diary. However, he didn’t really write down daily record of events and experiences.

He was about to put in his earbuds when his ears perked up as the word 'Ateez' was being mentioned. Interested he was now focussed on those who were speaking form the table besides him. He leaned in their direction ever so slightly. Paying full attention at the conversation that was being held.

“Of course, I know them, I love Ateez”!  
“Have you heard”? “Apparently they will be holding their fan sign in our city”.  
“Omfg really? You sure”?  
“Yes, I want to go” …  
“Me as well, but apparent to get in you have to buy albums”.  
“But since they are a ‘rooky group’ there is a bigger chance of getting in, right”?  
“Jeah, we can always try”!

Seonghwa eyes widened, he couldn’t believe what he just heard.  
He took out his phone and searched for the fan sign online.

It’s this Saturday already? How did he not know? Wait... he remembered. They promoted it on the show not too long ago.  
This was his chance... He could meet them. Meet ‘Hongjoong’.

But how would he get his hands on a ticket?  
After a bit of searching around he got it. He'd have to buy albums in order to get into some kind of raffle for the fan sign.  
Maybe he had a chance?

His decision was made.  
Today it's Tuesday. On Thursday he would get his pay, meaning he had few days to buy albums and apply to the fan sign.  
Stupid decision? Maybe. How he would survive after this? He did not know. But he was sure he would figure something out.

His main priority... meeting Kim Hongjoong.  
He put in his earphones, and listened to his favourite Ateez song.

He hummed to it as he wrote down the title of his new poem.

The sun’s flower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will they meet?


End file.
